I haven’t posted here in a while, which is probably ok since I’m pretty sure no one reads this blog anyway. I’ve been busy learning just in time to be a father to a happy, growing boy.

I do want to remind myself to write here, though, because it’s important for me to slow down and reflect on what this all means for me, my wife and for him.

He’s starting preschool this week — one day a week, for a few hours a day. It’s exciting and…something else. Scary? Sad? I’m not really sure. So many parents told me, ruefully: it goes by so fast. So I’m trying to hold onto this time and I can’t. All I can do is try to be mindful of the moment and enjoy him how he is. I want him to grow up and learn new things — that stuff is amazing to witness — but I find I sometimes already miss the days when he was a little baby.

I tell people that I used to be the Montgomery Burns of personal time — I was both wealthy and greedy.

When I became a dad, all of that flew out the window. It’s funny because I knew, at least at some level, that it would. My wife and I read books, took classes, heard from other parents aboout the difference in time you have before and after kids.

But on this whole other level, I was oblivious. When we learned that we would be adopting our son just two weeks before his biomom was scheduled for a c-section, I thought, “I’ll start a blog!”

That just seems hilarious to me now. Between work, taking care of this guy and all of the bottle washing, I’m living with a serious deficit in personal time. This after years and years of surpluses.

And yet, every once in a while, things line up. The kid got up early this morning because he had a diaper leak. He wouln’t go back to sleep and soon that he wanted to eat (at 4:30 a.m. instead of the usual 6:30 a.m.).

About 10 mins after feeding him, he was back asleep. I had a cup of coffee loaded in me, so now I found myself with a block of unexpected free time.

There’s so much I could do! I could tackle some chores. I could watch a movie. I could get a head-start on my day. I could play a game. I could work on my bike.

I wanted to do it all, but I couldn’t focus on just one. Then I decided to sit down and write about it in one of my neglected blogs.

But, you know, it’s all ok. Sure, sometimes it feels a bit like a forced march, especially if I haven’t had enough sleep. Having less personal time makes me more appreciative of the little bit I do have. And I think I waste less time now, too.