I haven’t posted here in a while, which is probably ok since I’m pretty sure no one reads this blog anyway. I’ve been busy learning just in time to be a father to a happy, growing boy.

I do want to remind myself to write here, though, because it’s important for me to slow down and reflect on what this all means for me, my wife and for him.

He’s starting preschool this week — one day a week, for a few hours a day. It’s exciting and…something else. Scary? Sad? I’m not really sure. So many parents told me, ruefully: it goes by so fast. So I’m trying to hold onto this time and I can’t. All I can do is try to be mindful of the moment and enjoy him how he is. I want him to grow up and learn new things — that stuff is amazing to witness — but I find I sometimes already miss the days when he was a little baby.

I tell people that I used to be the Montgomery Burns of personal time — I was both wealthy and greedy.

When I became a dad, all of that flew out the window. It’s funny because I knew, at least at some level, that it would. My wife and I read books, took classes, heard from other parents aboout the difference in time you have before and after kids.

But on this whole other level, I was oblivious. When we learned that we would be adopting our son just two weeks before his biomom was scheduled for a c-section, I thought, “I’ll start a blog!”

That just seems hilarious to me now. Between work, taking care of this guy and all of the bottle washing, I’m living with a serious deficit in personal time. This after years and years of surpluses.

And yet, every once in a while, things line up. The kid got up early this morning because he had a diaper leak. He wouln’t go back to sleep and soon that he wanted to eat (at 4:30 a.m. instead of the usual 6:30 a.m.).

About 10 mins after feeding him, he was back asleep. I had a cup of coffee loaded in me, so now I found myself with a block of unexpected free time.

There’s so much I could do! I could tackle some chores. I could watch a movie. I could get a head-start on my day. I could play a game. I could work on my bike.

I wanted to do it all, but I couldn’t focus on just one. Then I decided to sit down and write about it in one of my neglected blogs.

But, you know, it’s all ok. Sure, sometimes it feels a bit like a forced march, especially if I haven’t had enough sleep. Having less personal time makes me more appreciative of the little bit I do have. And I think I waste less time now, too.

By that, I mean I was wealthy. My time was mostly my own and I could easily predict how long a given task would take or when I should leave the house to make an appointment.

I knew that becoming a father would change all of that. But there are different types of knowing. There’s a conceptual knowing — a fact you picked up from a conversation or something you read — and there’s an experiential knowing that brings home the new reality.

I’m back to work now, so my time is at a very expensive premium. There are things I will have to give up — some I have already given up. It’s difficult and kind of sad. I have a commute, work and parenting on top of housework, eating/biological functions and sleep. Oh, and there’s relationship time.

I think the first thing to go will be entertainment. I just don’t have as much time to watch TV any more. After that, movies, too. I’ve already got a shoulder-high stack of rentals waiting to be watched. I might be able to put them on my phone and watch them during my commute hours, but that’s when I’m writing.

Work will have to narrow for me, too. I’ve been working 50 hours a week or so. I need to scale that back and say no to more meetings and tasks.

Here’s where it gets painful: hobbies. I might have to scale down my garden plans. No big, long bicycle trips this summer or training. Fewer baseball games. Fewer computer projects. I’m not going to build a kayak or a bicycle any time soon.

And, believe me when I say, that’s ok. These are sacrifices I make joyfully. This kid is wonderful and he is the new center of my life. I want to be the best dad I can be.

Do I even have time to write this blog? Well, I make time to write it because it’s important to me. Someday, years from now, I might have the time to go back and read this.